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Fic: 21st Century Gentlemen

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Nov. 28th, 2010 | 10:11 pm

Title: 21st Century Gentlemen
Author: heartsasmagnets 
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,800
Spoilers: Through 2.08 Furt, the knowledge that Kurt is going to Dalton.
Summary: Fulfillment of this prompt by blueberrykissa 
He takes over an empty classroom for an afternoon and gives a class: How to be Cool 101. Kurt, ever curious, decides to attend. The class is packed with Dalton guys, all taking notes the entire time.


From his seat, perched atop a counter in the back of one of Dalton’s larger lecture halls, Kurt could see everyone; a sea of Dalton blazers spread out in front of him. These guys had certainly come prepared – complete with notebooks and pens.

For an event which started out as a joke, the turnout was impressive.

Blaine stood at the front of the room, lording over the mass of (mostly) straight boys who’d come to hear him speak. He opened his pocket watch and stared at its face. Though he didn’t have a watch of his own, Kurt was quite sure it was seven pm on the dot. Blaine was a stickler for punctuality.

“Well, I think we should get started,” Blaine began, slipping his pocket watch into its tiny pocket. “I understand that you’ve all come here upon invitation by one of my hilarious compatriots promising that I would be giving a talk on etiquette. I would like to state for the record that though this was not my idea, I’ve decided that you can all truly benefit from what I have to say.”

Kurt crossed his legs and put a hand to his mouth to stifle the laughter that he could feel rising up inside. He absolutely could not believe that Blaine was going through with this.

Three days ago, after Warblers rehearsal, Wes had made a comment about how damn charming and perfect Blaine always seemed. At this, Kurt had cheekily suggested that – despite their incredibly dapper uniforms – much of the Dalton student body was woefully uninformed about how to not seem like complete idiots; particularly around women (as most of them were straight). The next morning, the entire student body had been sent an e-mail invitation to an after-hours class to be taught this Thursday by Blaine. Kurt knew Wes and David were most assuredly behind this.

Blaine moved to the large whiteboard on the far wall, picked up a dry erase marker and scrawled some words. He stepped back and allowed the class a few silent moments.

It read: A Gentleman’s Guide to Staying Cool in the 21st Century

“You may be wondering: why do I want to be a gentleman? I’ll tell you why,” Blaine started once more, walking around in front of the large counter. “Gentlemen are more successful in every aspect of their lives. You see, being a gentleman is not the norm anymore. At some point in the mid to late 1900’s, men decided that adhering to certain social rules was pointless. I’m here to tell you they were wrong.”

Kurt was pretty sure there was no way he was going to be able to sit through this whole presentation without losing it. He was shocked that no one had cut into Blaine’s semi-pompous rambling speech yet. Perhaps it was because they – like Kurt – couldn’t tell if Blaine was being serious or not.

“There are five simple rules which will benefit you in every area of your life from getting girls – or guys, if that’s your persuasion – to landing good jobs in the future. Now then, number one: A gentleman who is cool never hesitates to pick up a tab or loan money to a friend.”

Kurt swore he could hear the scratching sound of pens on paper as the guys furiously took notes.

“Stinginess never makes you look good, not on a date or even with a friend. Always offer to pay unless you really can’t afford it.”

Kurt remembered the first time he and Blaine had shared a meal - after the confrontation with Karofsky. Blaine had gladly paid. Kurt smiled, remembering the time fondly.

A hand shot up in the front. Kurt could tell, even from this distance, that it was that annoying Lucas kid from his World Politics class. “What if both people are gentlemen? Who pays?”

“An excellent question, Lucas. In such a rare case, both gentlemen should offer to pay but they should always alternate. If gentleman 1 paid this time, gentleman 2 shall pay the next,” Blaine answered.

“So, I should always pay for my girl?” Another voice asked from the far side of the room. “Seriously?”

“On most occasions, yes. At the very least you should offer. A gentleman should treat his companion – regardless of gender – with respect and convey that he is appreciative of the time being shared. However, some women may find it offensive that you wish to pay, citing that they are perfectly capable of paying for themselves. This is true. She does not need you to pay. A gentleman never negates a woman, or her ability to provide for herself. This is the 21st century, not the 1950’s – but it doesn’t mean the gentleman has to be extinct. The modern gentleman simply offers to share what he has with his companion as a way to show his depth of feeling. If she wishes to pay, he should respect that wish – and thusly her.”

The more Blaine spoke, the more Kurt was impressed. He wasn’t sure how Blaine had come to be such a fountain of knowledge (especially about women). He really was like Dalton’s resident sage or something - totally wise beyond his years. It was all perfectly logical information, but it seemed to be heard as if for the first time by these guys.

“Rule number two: Never lose your cool. Gentlemen are always in control of their emotions. This doesn’t mean we don’t want to punch some guy in the face from time to time, but losing your temper doesn’t make you tougher. In fact, it gives the other person the upper hand. It just proves to them that they can get to you.”

Kurt decided that Blaine followed this rule also. Even when Karofsky had slammed him against a chain link fence, Blaine didn’t even blink. The ability to inspire anger or fear was Karofsky’s only source of power and Blaine had known enough not to give him either.

“Rule number three is so obvious that it pains me to even bring it up. Popped collars are not cool. They were never cool.” Blaine unbuttoned the color on his Oxford shirt and popped the collar.

“Oh, god,” Kurt said audibly before biting his lip. Blaine looked up at him, almost bursting into laughter himself.

“You see? Obviously this isn’t a polo, but you get the point. Looking like a pretentious tool does nothing to make you look successful or attractive in anyway.”

Lucas raised his hand, immediately forcing Kurt to assume he was too thick to understand the bigger words.

“Yes?” Blaine asked, leaning up against the counter and pointing at Lucas.

“This is all great, but I’m not looking for a girlfriend. Just a little action, ya know?”

Blaine practically recoiled at this statement. “A gentleman does not seek out one night stands. A gentleman can take care of himself any day; he treats others with respect and pursues only with intention of a meaningful relationship.”

Lucas slumped down in his chair as if he’d just been chastised by a parent. There were a few scoffs among the ranks, but Kurt couldn’t help but smile. Blaine was really selling this. Kurt noticed that his heart was fluttering and wondered what that was all about.

“Rule number four: The “wait three days rule” will always be cool to break. For a gentleman, there’s no need to play games. If he finds a companion he truly feels a connection with, admitting this without delay is basically a fool-proof way to secure a second date. It’s probably best to wait until the next day to call, but three days is too much. It’s not necessary for a gentleman to show all his cards immediately, but playing hard to get hurts everyone involved.”

Blaine took out his pocket watch again to check the time. “Any questions before I move on to the final rule?”

There were no hands raised or questions asked.

“Rule number five,” Blaine began, pacing even closer in front of the students. “Just ask her out. It’s that simple. She’s been waiting for you to do it, I promise. There’s nothing cooler, or sexier, than a gentleman who is confident enough to walk across the room and take that leap of faith,” Blaine explained, beginning to ascend the stairs into the seating area of the lecture hall.

“And if she says no?” He continued, walking backwards up the stairs now. “Treat her exactly the same way you did thirty seconds ago before asking. It doesn’t have to be uncomfortable for either of you.”

Kurt’s heart thumped even harder in his chest the moment he realized that Blaine had turned and was taking the final step to reach the place where he was perched.

“Watch and learn,” Blaine appended; now looking straight at Kurt.

The entire class turned around and watched as Blaine hopped up onto the counter next to Kurt, crossed his left leg over his right and leaned in toward him.

“Hey Kurt, I’ve been standing down there giving this lecture and all I can really think about is you.” Kurt turned to look Blaine straight on. “Would you go out with me this Friday?”

Kurt blinked a few times, stunned. There was an audible “oh damn” muttered by Wes somewhere in the crowd. Kurt exhaled a breath which seemed to have gotten stuck in his lungs.

“Yes,” Kurt answered, once his brain had finally caught up. “Of course,” he added, unable to control the wide smile that overtook his lips.

Blaine grinned back and hopped down off the counter. He dashed down the stairs to the front of the room and spun dramatically. “See? Simple as that. Five rules; remember them. Class dismissed.”

The classroom emptied pretty quickly and soon there were only a few stragglers plus Blaine and Kurt. Kurt took the stairs slowly, hoping to be alone with Blaine by the time he reached the bottom.

“Well, you sure showed Wes and David. Clearly you are qualified to be school guru of dapper fashion and etiquette. You’re like, the Martha Stewart of Gentlemen.”

Blaine shuffled a few papers into his messenger bag. “Like I said, I figured they could actually use the help. Don’t know why you came though.”

“Me? Miss a chance to watch you totally dominate an entire classroom of teenage boys? I think not.”

Now alone, they both began to meander toward the door, each carefully watching the other to stay at the same pace.

“I wasn’t kidding about that date, Kurt.”

“I wasn’t kidding when I said yes.”

Their hands brushed together as they finally reached the door and a blush covered Kurt’s cheeks as Blaine’s fingers slid into the spaces between his own.

---

Derived from -- http://makeitmad.com/blog/2010/08/12/a-gentlemans-guide-to-staying-cool-in-the-21st-century/

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Comments {64}

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Ro

(no subject)

from: rrrowr
date: Nov. 29th, 2010 04:31 am (UTC)
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heeee~ This was especially cute. ♥

I noticed a typo though:

The entire class turned around and watched as Blaine hopped up onto the counter next to Blaine, crossed his left leg over his right and leaned in toward Kurt.

Perhaps that second 'Blaine' should be Kurt?

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heartsasmagnets

(no subject)

from: heartsasmagnets
date: Nov. 29th, 2010 04:35 am (UTC)
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Aww, thank you! :) And yes...CHARACTER CONFUSION! OMG. LOL I'll fix that. Thanks.

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blueberrykissa

(no subject)

from: blueberrykissa
date: Nov. 29th, 2010 04:34 am (UTC)
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akfjsadklfjsfd ♥

I was pretty much like this the whole time:


Thank you thank you thank you thank you. This was utterly perfect. I loved this line: Kurt noticed that his heart was fluttering and wondered what that was all about.

Yessssss. LOVE ♥ ♥ ♥

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heartsasmagnets

(no subject)

from: heartsasmagnets
date: Nov. 29th, 2010 04:41 am (UTC)
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Really? OH I'M SO GLAD!! I didn't thought it might be too far off the prompt. YAY!



*cuddles*

I wasn't going to post it on kurt_blaine until I knew if you thought Blaine's comments were acceptable as well. I was hoping the stuff about women came off correctly and that no one would take offense at ti.

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JaneKrahe

(no subject)

from: janekrahe
date: Nov. 29th, 2010 05:13 am (UTC)
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Blaine is perfect. Darren Criss is perfect. This story is perfect. <3

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heartsasmagnets

(no subject)

from: heartsasmagnets
date: Nov. 29th, 2010 05:19 am (UTC)
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*cuddles* Thank you. :)

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freelance awesomator

(no subject)

from: threepwillow
date: Nov. 29th, 2010 05:14 am (UTC)
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I LIKE THIS. A LOT. *____* ♥

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heartsasmagnets

(no subject)

from: heartsasmagnets
date: Nov. 29th, 2010 05:18 am (UTC)
Link

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Lee

(no subject)

from: atruebluesky
date: Nov. 29th, 2010 05:15 am (UTC)
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alksdflkflaksjdflasjlakfsjd

I was so excited when I saw the original prompt, and then you wrote THIS and and and EEEEEE. <3 *flails* Blaine is so adorable and gentlemanly, and then Kurt is just so great. I really liked that one kid who kept on asking questions about getting laid and OMG WUT I HAVE TO PAY LIEK ALL THE TIME?! It was a very nice and realistic touch. Soooo bookmarking this for later rereadings. <3

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heartsasmagnets

(no subject)

from: heartsasmagnets
date: Nov. 29th, 2010 05:22 am (UTC)
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♥ x a million! Thank you!

Yeah, I was trying to make the story not just be Blaine drone on and on and I was like, maybe I can add in a guy who just wants to get laid. Success!

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Glass_Gem

(no subject)

from: glass_gem
date: Nov. 29th, 2010 05:39 am (UTC)
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Awwww. David and Wes would set everything up so that Blaine actually gave a lecture on this stuff, LoL. I love that Kurt attended and sat in the back of the class and that the last step included Blaine asking Kurt out on a date.

<3

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UltraDeepField

(no subject)

from: blaqkheaven
date: Nov. 29th, 2010 05:52 am (UTC)
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I KNEW they offered "Refined Gentlemen's Class" at Dalton."

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heartsasmagnets

(no subject)

from: heartsasmagnets
date: Nov. 29th, 2010 03:45 pm (UTC)
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But of course! ;)

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(Deleted comment)

heartsasmagnets

(no subject)

from: heartsasmagnets
date: Nov. 29th, 2010 03:45 pm (UTC)
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woo hoo! \0/ inspiring head!cannon. Love it.

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elles_lovely89

(no subject)

from: elles_lovely89
date: Nov. 29th, 2010 06:05 am (UTC)
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This is so awesome! I liked it a lot :D
I should forward this story to every guy I know. I would love a guy like Blaine, and it is verrrry cute ♥

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heartsasmagnets

(no subject)

from: heartsasmagnets
date: Nov. 29th, 2010 03:46 pm (UTC)
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I know, right? Blaine is such a rare breed. Thank you! :)

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titacats

(no subject)

from: titacats
date: Nov. 29th, 2010 06:06 am (UTC)
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Dapper Blaine will always, always reduce me to a puddle of goo.

♥_♥

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lucie caboosie

(no subject)

from: whenidance
date: Nov. 29th, 2010 03:30 pm (UTC)
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SO MUCH THIS ♥

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nobody,not even the rain,has such small hands

(no subject)

from: satora_chan
date: Nov. 29th, 2010 06:12 am (UTC)
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I really liked this :) The who-pays section seemed borderline patronizing of women at first, but you definitely saved it with "RESPECT HER AND HER DECISIONS" bit (the awkward, often misunderstood line between chivalry and being-a-nice-person), and I do understand that he's talking to a group of boys.

Also, I loved how he pre-actively gave Kurt a way out with "If she says no..."

Well done :) Loved it a lot.

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heartsasmagnets

(no subject)

from: heartsasmagnets
date: Nov. 29th, 2010 03:48 pm (UTC)
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I agonized over the who-pays section. I worried it wouldn't be understood, but I'm glad you got it. Also, YES, thank you for catching the "if she says no" bit. <3

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Sam

(no subject)

from: everything_inme
date: Nov. 29th, 2010 06:26 am (UTC)
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I love this. So much.

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heartsasmagnets

(no subject)

from: heartsasmagnets
date: Nov. 29th, 2010 05:03 pm (UTC)
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Thank you! :)

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panbutnotpeter

(no subject)

from: panbutnotpeter
date: Nov. 29th, 2010 06:39 am (UTC)
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So much dapper adorableness! Very funny and sweet.

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heartsasmagnets

(no subject)

from: heartsasmagnets
date: Nov. 29th, 2010 05:03 pm (UTC)
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I adore Dapper!Blaine! Thank you. :)

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KB

(no subject)

from: psyko_kittie
date: Nov. 29th, 2010 06:47 am (UTC)
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Love this! And love you for writing it. Dapper!Blaine is love. :)

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heartsasmagnets

(no subject)

from: heartsasmagnets
date: Nov. 29th, 2010 05:04 pm (UTC)
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Dapper!Blaine really, really is love.

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(Deleted comment)

heartsasmagnets

(no subject)

from: heartsasmagnets
date: Nov. 29th, 2010 05:06 pm (UTC)
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aww...thank you! <3

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